when you have a really clear, utterly beautiful image of a location in your story but when you go to describe it you just
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New serial post
New episode of my serial fiction The Colony Project. Check it out.
Adventures of BarBar
Started a new exercise and self improvement program. Tired of the fat floppy arms and stomach. I’ve tried this before, but never got far. At fifty, time is running out. Not that I think fifty is old, or that I can’t do it. But its harder to tone things up at this age, especially when I am not in good shape to begin with.I have a pic I am using for motivation.
Yeah, not going to look like this anytime soon. But ,what the heck, aim high,right? Working up the nerve to post a “before” pic.
I have the equipment, and my husband is working out with me. Stay tuned for updates.
Moved my serial fiction over to a new blog, so it will be easier to keep up with. Still tweaking it. Working on a new installment. It is purely for my own amusement, but I hope others will enjoy it too.
I grew up in a fairly non-traditional family when it comes to media consumption. For example, my parents did not go to great lengths to censor what I read or watched. I have memories of my mom explaining what LSD was to me when we watched Hair and answering “Mom, what does ‘horny’ mean?”…
The Tangential: Why Is Reading a Virtue But Watching TV Shows is “Lazy?”
Noteworthy (BYU) – “Without You” by Usher & “I Will Wait” by Mumford & Sons Mashup
(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)
On a dark and stormy Friday, way back in the year 1492, a young lad by the name of Jesus Marvin Christ was preparing for his execution. He was to be hung on a crucifix until the life drained from his body.
Don’t worry, things get happier… right after the whipping part. And the part where they mock him and give him a crown of thorns. And the part where he had to carry his cross up a big hill. And the part where they gave him putrid wine and Jesus was like, “nah, I don’t drink.” Then there was the part where they jabbed him with a spear. And of course there was the whole dying thing.
They called this day “Good Friday” …because of course they did.
Skip ahead, skip ahead… here are the happy bits…
Sunday came. Jesus’ body was just laying in a tomb, being all dead and stuff. Jesus and God were sitting up in heaven watching football. Jesus didn’t know a thing about football and kept asking God annoying questions.
“Why do they call it a football? They barely use their feet. And aren’t balls round? They should call it a ‘mini hand-zeppelin’ or something.”
God couldn’t take it anymore, so he decided it was time to resurrect Jesus back to Earth. Now a lot of people like to joke and say that because Jesus rose from the dead, he must be a zombie. Not true. God filled his innards with robot parts and downloaded his consciousness into a 50 petabyte holographic storage device located in the left buttcheek. I know, the head would have been the logical place to put the consciousness, but the laser eyes took up too much room.
So robot Jesus activated and sat up in the tomb. It was pretty dark in there, so he turned on his night vision. He came to the entrance and found that some jerk had placed a giant boulder there. Thankfully, God had replaced his nipples with hellfire missiles. Just as he was about to fire, a bunny hopped in front of him. He was like, “Dammit bunny, I almost killed you with my nipple missiles!”
Jesus used his magic finger rays on the bunny. His intention was to magically transport the bunny to safety. Instead, the bunny just sat there and glowed for a while. Jesus hadn’t read the manual for the magic finger rays and didn’t really know what he was doing. All of the sudden the bunny laid an egg.
“Dammit… I really need to figure out this magic stuff or Dad’s going to start calling me a muggle again.”
Holding the bunny safely under his arm, Jesus fired his hellfire nipple missiles and blasted the stone from the tomb entrance. His disciples heard the explosion and gathered around, staring at the tomb opening. As the dust cleared, a figure could be seen walking forth. Jesus stepped out into the light, looked at his followers, and said, “I’m back, bitchez!”
The people were filled with joy and praised him loudly.
One of them spoke to Jesus and said… ”Did that bunny just lay an egg?”
if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS
So twisted. I love it !!!
Okay. Someone asked me how I feel about writing fiction in a world that still needs actual activism and hands-on work to make life better. They said something similar to, “I get pulled away from writing fiction because I feel guilty for not making tangible benefit to the world. Isn’t fiction just escapism?”
But I also got the following message, which I’m filing some of the serial numbers off of, as it were:
“I just wanted to tell you something. When I was 18 years old, my life was a fucking mess. I worked at a store that sold comic books and one day I stumbled upon Spider and the filthy assistants. Your comic kept me from killing myself. There is a character limit here so I can’t say everything I want to but thank you. From the very deepest part of my heart.”
I post this not to self-aggrandise. It is not a unique message, for good or ill. I get them surprisingly regularly. Frankly, messages like that scare the hell out of me, because I’m not very smart and not a very clever writer and I fuck up all the time.
But fiction speaks to people. Even fiction like mine acts to tell someone, somewhere, that they’re not alone.
You want tangible, social benefits to writing fiction? There are people walking around today because other people wrote words that spoke to them. That’ll do.
And thank you.
Warren Ellis’ Notebook: Okay. Someone asked me how I feel about writing fiction in a world…
2:Recruitment
I could never be an astronaut. The whole spinning around til you puke part of the training pretty much cancels me out. I get carsick just riding in the back seat. But I have always dreamed of going into space. To see Earth from orbit would be the ultimate experience of a lifetime.
So when I was approached to join a colony on another planet, travelling on a luxury space liner, no motion sickness involved, of course I said yes. Well, not immediately. I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck. I did a lot of research on the company behind the offer. The Chiliad Corporation had recently made a big push in space exploration research, and if the financial websites could be believed, they certainly had the money to fund an expedition to another planet.
At first, I thought I was the victim of some elaborate practical joke. I mean, come on, space travel? And why me? I am a nobody, with no particular set of skills. Why would I be recruited instead of someone with a PhD,or a talent like carpentry or metal working? The minute the phrase ‘support personnel" left the recruiters mouth, I understood. Someone had to cook and clean up for all the smart and talented people now didn’t they? Being a space maid didn’t exactly fit into my fantasy of travelling to another planet.
My question of whats in it for me was met with a polite smile and a confidentiality agreement to sign. It took me all of 2 minutes to decide. If this was a prank, someone had gone to great lengths to make it believable. And what did I have to lose? Wasn’t like I had anything else going on in my life.
So I signed on the dotted line, took my fat information packet, and headed off to orientation.
Hey, I am looking to get more followers. I will be adding more content daily, especially my serial fiction.
WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?
Scotland
1:Fresh Start
People who know me will say I have always been a little odd. But no one would really classify me as truly crazy. At least I don’t think so. But yesterday I did something that makes me question my own sanity. And the really crazy thing is, I don’t care. I was offered the opportunity of a life time, and I took it. There is a good possibility it is just a scam, but if not, well, I will soon be getting a fresh start in life, something I desperately need right now. Out of work, all my bills over due, repo men just waiting for the call to come and take away pretty much everything,this offer could not have come at a better time.
What do I have to do to get this fresh start? Oh, just agree to fake my death and travel to another galaxy and help colonize a dying planet.
Yep, I have definitely lost my freaking mind.
Stop whatever it is you’re doing because it’s not as important as watching this video.
Turkey EH
(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)
Love this mash up!!!
(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)
Everyone’s favourite font, now in song-form.
My favorite font!!!!
(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)
This is me today.
Love this, but wouldn’t want to do it myself. I got enough up top already.
Dragon Ramblings 